Monday, December 19, 2011

Games I Can't Effing Wait For!

Here's a list of the officially announced games I truly cant motherfudging (see what I did there?) wait for (in no particular order):

The Witcher 2 - Release Date: Q1 2012

I know this game is already out, but I don't have a very capable computer. Yet alone the beast I'd need to run this masterwork. So I get to wait a few more months to play it on my 360. This CD Projekt RPG is the sequel to one of the great computer games, The Witcher (bet ya didn't see that one coming). Following an epic "boy has mystical powers, boy has a lot of sex, boy kills things, boy saves world" tale accompanied by sprawling landscapes, insane graphics, a fun but complex combat system, and enough customizational options to keep any one playthrough from mirroring the next, this apparently IS an amazing gaming experience that I eagerly anticipate getting my non-mystical power having, non-sex having, non-thing killing hands on around "May-ish".

Mass Effect 3 - Release Date: 3/6/2012

Do I really need to say anything? It's a new Mass Effect. How can I not have a total hard-on from the very thought of playing the finale of one of the greatest game series of all time? The masterpiece trilogy started in 2007 dropping players into a futuristic world where humans live in (by real world standards) peace with many different species across the universe. When an ancient unknown terror threatens all life in the universe, it's up to Commander Shepherd (aka you) and a ragtag group of fighters to save pretty much everything. Now (according to trailers), this threat has attacked earth. And guess who gets to stop planet-raping monstrosities? Yep. You. Look forward to me forgetting you all exist for a while come March.

Lollipop Chainsaw - Release Date: 2012

There's not a whole lot to say due to a lack of solid information. But this is a game where you play a blonde, pigtailed cheerleader. With a chainsaw. Mowing down hordes of the undead. You really don't NEED anything else do you?

South Park: The Game - Release Date: 2012

I know what you're thinking, "a South Park game? why the hell would you wanna play that atrocity?" Well, to you I say "THIS IS DIFFERENT!" This time, it's been a four-year (and still in progress) project by RPG powerhouses Obsidian and the comedic duo themselves Trey Parker and Matt Stone. The game is reportedly a Role-Playing epic set in the town of South Park. You play a "new kid" trying to receive the admiration of the local children. With character classes, leveling, hundreds of side quests, and a story totally unique from any RPG created until this point. Doesn't sound awe-inspiring, but with Parker and Stone directly involved, and a more than reputable RPG mainstay behind the keyboards, I expect grand things from this game.

Doom 4 - Release Date: 2012

DOOM!! GOD HOW I MOTHEREFFING LOVE DOOM!!! Sorry bout that. Anyway, we're finally getting a new Doom game from Id. The first three were all amazing in their own rights and directly resulted in the existence of the horror-shooter genre that games like F.E.A.R. have so (shut up) attempted to make into their own. Doom stands alone as the king. Always action-packed, with smooth controls, truly great atmosphere, awe-inspiring graphics, and most of all, a lot of fear (ba-boom boom ch!). After seeing how amazing Rage feels and runs, and knowing that was pretty much a test run for some of their new tech, I expect nothing less than amazing from this next game. And I doubt I'll be disappointed.

Dragon's Dogma - Release Date: 2012

Finally, a new commodity on my list. Capcom plunges head-first into the Fantasy RPG genre with what's clamed to be a unique experience with exciting combat set in a vast new world. With a party of three, you set off to destroy a mysterious dragon thingy, battling many mystical beasts on your way. Sounds a lot like Dragon Age to me. But who cares? Dragon Age was awesome (by that of course, I mean Origins). And mystical beasts are cool. And the game looks gorgeous. So I still want it!

Max Payne 3 - Release Date: March 2012

The long (and I mean LONG) awaited third instalment in Rockster's PS2 "Greatest Hits" series, Max Payne is finally coming. The story is something about Max being retired and someone says "hey wanna do some thing in some place for me?" so he goes to another country and shoots a lot of people in slow-motion with a bald head. Who cares about the story? It's new Max Payne.

NeverDead - Release Date: 1/31/2012

This one's a bit of a sleeper. It won't win any awards, but it just plain looks fun as hell. Taking place in a sprawling, destroyed, metropolis, your character takes on a quest to basically kill every damn inhuman thing you can find. With supernatural powers, awesome regeneration skills, some heavy artillery, and a curse of immortality, you get to plow through hordes of creatures and beasts. What else do you need to know? Oh yeah. Megadeth wrote a song for it. And he sinks the buzzer-beater! Get this shiz.

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning - Release Date: 2/7/2012

Yep. ANOTHER RPG. But this one had the creative assistance of 22-time New York Times best-selling author, R.A. Salvatore. This game promises to immerse us all in a vast, rich, living, breathing world that lets you create your own destiny through your interactions with the world and its inhabitants. Created by the minds behind Age of Empires, and Civilization II, it promises to have a great and expansive story and combat system. And if that's not enough, here's the clincher among clinchers: The art design of the world in everything in it was created by...... *drumroll*....... SETH MCFARLANE!!! The god among men in visual genius. This thing's gonna be good...

Far Cry 3 - Release Date: 2012

I admit, I don't know a whole lot about this title. I've played the first two, and while they were fairly serviceable, they were both far (or a far CRY!... I'll stop now) from special. But the third iteration presented the world with one of the most epic trailers in not just gaming, but entertainment history. And after seeing that, I can't wait to get my hands on that game. Chances are pretty high that I'll be let down, but at the very least, it'll give a solidly entertaining game experience like the two prior titles.

Here's that epic trailer/gameplay demo I talked about. Enjoy:

Well, there's 10. There are some on the far horizon I left out, as well as some I don't know enough about yet, but yea. Enjoy and comment.

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